"Safe school environment", Gan See Siong

1
Room Monitor

A dog walked right into my lecture. It was huge and black. No one moves a finger. It swaggered from row to row and ate up all the chips and drank all the sodas. It sat at the back like a bouncer. I continued my lecture and the dog paid attention to what I was trying to convey in the usually noisy environment. When someone made a noise, the animal would growl at the noisy person. I had the most cooperative audience that day.

I am putting up a suggestion to have the dog employed as a room monitor

2
Introducing a New Staff

I am Kieran’s buddy. Kieran’s academic and work experiences are fantabulous but it’s what he does in his spare time that I am interested in. Kieran says he looks at carpets. He likes to stare at the asymmetrical lines and be inspired. A lot of his academic writings came about after such sessions. His latest article on why old folks tend to have heart attacks on Tuesdays came about after an intense day with a 120-knots carpet he bought from Egypt.

I have no carpets. He says sometimes doormats will do. Expect more about him in my staff email.

3
Blue Birds

A student ordered chicken breast but was given a thigh. The stallholder said he will not charge more. “But I wanted breast meat!” “Thigh costs more, so be happy!” Student and stallholder argued. When it seems like security had to be alerted, two blue birds flew in and perched above the stall. They are so rare, everyone’s attention got diverted. Stallholder believes the birds are bringers of fortune and declared the stall closed. He asked everyone to help themselves to the meat; breast, thigh and all. Student googled the bluebirds on his smartphone and showed it to stallholder. They are friends now.

4
Interesting People

Kelvin saw fit to invite me into his FB group of ‘interesting people’. He defines interesting people as people who can get along with him. I was rather flattered by his gesture since it was only recently that he completely ignored me. After much probing, it seems my ‘liking’ his FB posts for a consecutive 8 times between the hours of 3 and 5 did the trick. He said he has come to terms with my shortcomings and my inability to enunciate ‘three’ and ‘rhetoric’ properly. I am happy that he’s happy and hopes that you reading this will get invited too.